Today’s blog post is part 3 of 3 in a series about single adults. My guest blogger for this series has been Dr. PJ Dunn, founder of Table For One Ministries.

If you are joining us for the first time, please check out my (Dr. PJ Dunn) first post titled “Who are Singles.” It was in that post that I defined who singles are and how to see them more clearly in your community.

Connecting people to a group is hard work! I (PJ Dunn) had the privilege of leading a group training in South Georgia recently. When I asked the attendees why it is hard to reach people, a sweet southern woman replied, “Well, people are messy!” After a huge smile and a room full of laughter, I realized she was right, and the Apostle Paul knew it, too.

Connect to People, not Programs.

As Paul traveled and reached people for the Lord, he shared his mindset for engaging people in I Corinthians 9. He was willing to adapt in significant ways to “become all things to all people, so that I may by every possible means save some.” Programs should have a purpose, but they may need modification to receive a new input in order to achieve an output. The world has changed, but have our groups noticed?

Sunday School still works. Home groups still work. Community groups still work. LIFE groups still work. Care groups still work. Groups that meet in the church still work. Groups that meet in homes still work. The name or location of the program/strategy is not the issue. Connecting people to other people is the true challenge. People connect people, not programs! With regard to singles, we must ask the question, “Will we include single adults in our group so they can be connected to others?”

Singles Value Community, and Many are Lonely

We are living in the loneliest generation ever seen in America. “We live in the most technologically connected age in the history of civilization, yet rates of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s” (Dr. Vivek Murthy, former US Surgeon General).

Community is the highest value for singles, and we are already providing places of community through Bible study groups! God has already created the best way for us to reach this current generation, including single adults: GROUPS! When God created Adam, He said, “It is not good that the man is alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). The first human needed community, and we all need that today.

As a group leader, you are most likely faithfully connecting with and reaching people. Most groups have a commonality, something that gives them a reason to gather and connect. That common denominator could be age, life stage, area of town, a common passion, gender, or marital status.

Groups come in many shapes and sizes. Will you allow singles to be part of your group, or will you become an advocate for singles and help start a new group that will focus on reaching them? We hit what we aim for, and if we want to reach more singles, we must intentionally plan to reach and include them in groups. Remember, over 50% of adults in America are single! If your church has no group for singles, you’ve got a “target rich environment” in your community. They are just waiting for someone to give them a reason to gather and build relationships.

Connecting to Singles as People

Singles have unique life stages, but are not from a different world. They have many of the same needs that we all have. Here are a few ways to connect to singles in your life and in your group.

1. Remember that marriage isn’t the finish line.
   1. Singles will engage with you in conversations, but talking about their singleness generally ends in a conversation about what they don’t have or what they should have rather than where they are at the moment. Seeing a person as single is caring. Helping them be complete in Christ is one of the most loving things you can do for them.  
2. Build authentic relationships.
   1. This is not unique to single adults but is worth mentioning. Singles want to be noticed, named, and known. They desire intentional connections that relate to their interests, passions, and challenges. It only takes one genuine relationship in which a single person is known to multiply into a culture that reaches single adults.
3. Be a friend worth having.
   1. Be invested in a single person’s life and take action! If your group isn’t the right fit for single adults, start a new group for singles or help your church be single-friendly.

Connecting singles to a group only takes a bit of program modification and a passion to see singles in your community connect with your church and your group.