Some group leaders are born with the gift of welcome, and others seem to have read the manual upside down.

If you’ve ever wondered how to clear a room faster than a fire drill, here are three tried-and-terrible tactics guaranteed to send your guests sprinting for the door. Use with caution (or better yet, don’t use them at all).

1. The Overzealous Icebreaker: “Let’s All Share Our Deepest Regrets (or a sin we’re struggling to tame)!”

Nothing says “welcome” like a forced vulnerability circle five minutes after arrival. Want to watch grown adults squirm like toddlers in a dentist chair? Ask them to share their most embarrassing moment, or why they voted for the candidate they chose, all while balancing their donuts and coffee.

Why it scares them off: People came primarily for fellowship, not therapy. There’s a fine line between meaningful connection and emotional ambush.

Better idea: Start with light conversation, laughter, and shared stories. Let depth emerge naturally—like a good stew, it takes time to simmer.

2. The Culinary Curveball: “I Made My Famous Sardine Jello Mold!”

Ah, the mystery dish. Equal parts gelatin, seafood, and regret. Nothing clears a room faster than a plate that looks like it escaped from a 1950s church cookbook. Guests never want to hear, “Hey look what I made with Spam and a blender.”

Why it scares them off: Guests may be polite, but their stomachs are honest. If it jiggles and smells like low tide, it’s probably not a crowd-pleaser.

Better idea: Stick with familiar favorites and offer a few adventurous bites on the side. Hospitality is about comfort, not culinary cook-offs.

3. The Monologue Group Leader: “Enough About You—Back to Me!”

Some hosts mistake “hosting” for “holding court.” If your guests haven’t spoken up, it might be because you’re still recounting your high school track record. I hate to say it, but you might be the problem.

Why it scares them off: People crave connection, not performance. A one-sided conversation is just a podcast with snacks.

Better idea: Ask questions. Listen well. Make space for stories that aren’t your own. The best hosts are generous with attention, not just appetizers. Let your people talk at least as much as you do. That’s a good practice if you want conversations to flow naturally.

So unless your goal is to host a disappearing act, steer clear of these frightful faux pas. Hospitality isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, warmth, and the kind of welcome that makes people want to linger.