If you lead a Bible study group, odds are you’ve got an “over-talker in your midst. You know the type – they love to hear themselves speak and they can dominate a group’s discussion, often hijacking the conversation away from other group members. The over-talker loves to answer questions, grind a personal axe, or advance a personal theological conviction. If you are going to grow in your ability to lead and manage your group, you’re going to have to deal with the over-talker at some point.

The over-talker can create unhealthy tension in your group. It’s possible that he or she might adversely affect the discussions in your group by causing some people to remain silent. In an extreme case, the over-talker might create sufficient tension that drives group members away. To handle the over-talker in your group, consider doing some or all of the following:

1. Call on specific people to answer questions – If you have an over-talker in your group, quickly shift your teaching strategy and ask a specific person to answer a question.  Rather than asking the group to respond to a question in your Bible study material, try this instead: Ask, “Hey, Bill, how do you respond to the second question on page 16 of the personal study guide?” This is a way to call on someone besides the over-talker to answer a question, and it sends a signal to your over-talker that you value other people’s input.
2. Use some kind of “talking object” – One way to handle an over-talker is to have an object, any object, that gives a person the right to have the floor and speak. It might be an eraser, a rubber ball, or anything that you want to use for this purpose. When you ask the group a question, pitch the object to someone, and only that person can answer the question at hand. By doing this, you can control the dominant person and still give everyone else the opportunity to speak.
3. Enlist the over-talker to answer assigned questions.  If you have an over-talker, pre-enlist that person to answer specific questions. You might say something like, “John (the over-talker), I value your input during our group’s discussion. Would you be prepared to answer questions 1 and 5? I’m going to assign the other questions to different people in our group.” By doing this, you can limit the person’s input to a few questions, giving others a chance to answer the remaining questions.
4.  Interrupt the over-talker and apologize. If your over-talker just won’t let go of the reigns, you may have to gently interrupt him and say something like, “John (the over-talker), thanks for sharing your insights – but I’d love to hear how a few others might respond to the question at hand.” You won’t have to use this one very often, unless the over-talker chooses to ignore what you’re signaling him.
5. Take the over-talker out for some “coffee and confrontation.”  If the over-talker insists on continuing his or her domination of the group, it’s time to sit down and have a face-to-face conversation.  This is a true measure of your leadership ability. Kindly confronting this person can be intimidating, and you may find it easier to simply ignore the situation. But to grow as a leader, you have to grow in your ability to manage more difficult people. Let the over-talker know that although you value their contributions, they are keeping others from fully participating. Be sure to end this difficult conversation with a heartfelt “thank you” to the over-talker for regularly speaking up in the group’s Bible study. Tell him how he has made a difference in the group, and how he has encouraged others to more fully join the conversation during the Bible study. If confronting someone is difficult for you, I recommend you take a look at the book Fierce Conversations or Radical Candor.
6. Pray for the over-talker, and for wisdom – Don’t underestimate the power of prayer. As you lead your group to study the Bible, make prayer for the over-talker a regular part of your prayer routine. You’ll need great wisdom to handle the over-talker. You’ll want to preserve the relationship with the person if at all possible, and you don’t want to see group members leave or express frustration with that individual. Navigating this part of the leadership journey is not easy, and daily prayer time spent asking God for wisdom to deal properly with the over-talker may well be the one thing that makes the most difference.
7. Don’t hang a label on the over-talker – During times of frustration, you may be tempted to think the worse of the over-talker in your group. Don’t. Resist the temptation to hang a label around the person’s neck. Consider that he might simply be overusing a strength he possesses. Allow yourself to believe that he does what he does without fully understanding the effects of his verbal contributions. Remind yourself that this person is a child of God, someone redeemed by Christ, and in need of biblical community. See yourself as his shepherd, and care for him.

If you lead a Bible study group long enough, you’re going to have to deal with the tensions created by an over-talker. You’ve got lots of options, and probably some not even mentioned here. Be patient, but act. As the group’s shepherd, you don’t have the luxury of not taking action.