The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many people in your church or Bible study group, they can be the most difficult.
Loneliness feels sharper. Family tensions feel heavier. Grief feels deeper. As leaders, we have a unique opportunity to help hurting people experience the hope and comfort of Christ during a season that can magnify pain.
Here are three practical ways to care well for those who struggle through the holidays.
1. Be Present for the Lonely
Loneliness doesn’t always look like isolation. Some lonely people sit in crowded rooms, attend worship services, and show up for group gatherings—but still feel unseen. The holidays amplify that ache, especially when everyone else seems surrounded by family, friends, and celebration.
One of the most powerful gifts you can give is presence. Reach out intentionally to group members who live alone, are new to the church, or have withdrawn recently. A simple text, a handwritten card, or a quick phone call can remind them they matter. Even better, invite them into something—coffee, a meal, a Thanksgiving or Christmas event, or a casual gathering.
Encourage your group members to do the same. Loneliness is best addressed by community, not just the leader. When your group becomes a web of connection rather than a hub with you at the center, lonely people begin to feel like they belong.
A small gesture can make a big difference. One leader told me he simply asked a lonely group member to help him set up chairs before their Christmas gathering. That small act of inclusion changed the man’s entire holiday experience.
2. Support Those with Strained Family Relationships
Not everyone looks forward to family gatherings. For some, the holidays mean navigating conflict, tension, or painful memories. Others may be estranged from family altogether. These situations can leave people feeling anxious, ashamed, or emotionally exhausted.
As a leader, you can help by offering a safe place to talk. You don’t need to fix their family dynamics—just listen without judgment. Remind them that their identity is rooted in Christ, not in the approval or behavior of relatives.
You can also help them prepare spiritually and emotionally. Encourage them to set healthy boundaries, pray for wisdom, and enter family gatherings with realistic expectations rather than idealized ones. Sometimes the most freeing thing you can tell someone is, “It’s okay if your holiday doesn’t look like a Hallmark movie.”
Finally, remind your group that the church is a spiritual family. For people whose biological families are complicated, the body of Christ can be a place of stability, encouragement, and unconditional love.
3. Walk Gently with Those Who Are Grieving
For people who have lost a loved one, the holidays can reopen wounds. Empty chairs at the table, missing voices, and traditions that feel incomplete can make November and December feel heavy.
Grieving people need permission to feel what they feel. Encourage them to be honest about their emotions rather than pretending everything is fine. Let them know that sorrow and joy can coexist—that it’s possible to celebrate Christ’s birth while still mourning a deep loss.
Practical care matters too. Invite them to share stories about their loved one. Ask how the holidays feel different this year. Offer prayer that acknowledges their grief rather than glossing over it. And if appropriate, help your group create space for remembrance—lighting a candle, saying a name, or praying specifically for those who are grieving.
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it certainly doesn’t take a holiday break. Your gentle presence can help someone experience Christ’s comfort in a season that feels painfully empty.
The holidays give us a chance to embody the heart of Jesus—to draw near to the lonely, support the struggling, and comfort the grieving. When your group becomes a place of compassion, people discover that even in their hardest seasons, they are not alone.
